Author: Angel Beldam

I received a group text this morning that said “Yuck, it’s Monday again” and I couldn’t agree more.

It was so nice to sleep in my own bed last night, but I should have crawled into it sooner. What made me think it was a good idea to start watching season two of Carnival Row right before bed? Thank goodness there were only four episodes available or I might have binged all night.

I opened the cupboard to see my favorite cup and that made me smile, but I realized I didn’t have any coffee ground and I made a pathetic whiny sound.

I’m facing an 8-hour workday, the first of five, after a glorious week of only 12 total hours.

And to top it off I have a dental appointment immediately after work which means no nap. There should be a law that prohibits the scheduling of dentist appointments on Monday. That is just cruel and crueler punishment.

Even the dog feels sorry for me, I think. She didn’t bother to move anything but her eyes as I entered her room so I’m not sure.

This post has been way more stream of consciousness and Debbie Downer than usual for me, which I’ve only just realized because the caffeine is finally kicking in. I apologize profusely.

If I’m going to get that 8-hour day completed in time to not be late for my dentist, I’d better say adios to you.

I hope your Monday is free of struggles. Be well my friends.

I’m experiencing mixed emotions this morning. I miss Tennessee something fierce, but I’m glad she made it home safe and without any drama, at least none she shared with me.

The trip to the airport included a detour up to Boulder where we found a lovely path to take some pictures in the glorious Colorado sunshine. Then a quick stop to do some souvenir shopping. At the airport I did something I’m normally so cautious about, I kissed and hugged her goodbye and didn’t care who saw or worry about if someone might say something. When did I get so brave?

I was teary all the way back to the house but managed to wait until I was alone before the ugly crying happened. I was up late waiting for her to get home so this morning I’m a bit hungover without the benefit of having been drunk first.

I’m also feeling a little guilty because I’m not totally sad this morning. In a couple hours I’m having brunch with a writer friend and a friend of hers. My friend’s friend is an artist who does cover art for books and has expressed interest in or at least a willingness to do the cover for my novel. I’m so excited y’all. To meet her, yes, but also that I’m taking another step toward making my dream of being a published novelist a reality.

Finally, I’m heading home today and I’m dreading the packing and clearing up. Why did I bring so much stuff? I’m going to miss these two furry bundles of love, but it’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed and cuddle with my own fur baby.

Lots to do today so I’d better hop to it. Have a great day and be well my friends.

I knew today was going to be difficult. Tennessee is going home this afternoon. But instead of just being a little sad to say goodbye, she is grieving for a good friend who lost their spouse suddenly yesterday.

That is such a weird expression–they aren’t lost, they’re dead and it’s permanent and it really sucks.

I feel so helpless watching her feel so helpless. When she gets back, she will be able to help a bit by watching the dogs for her friend relieving her of one responsibility while navigating such a terrible loss. I hope that will help Tennessee not feel so helpless, but I hate that I can’t help in any way.

I’m going to be so far away. I won’t be there to hug her on the day of the funeral. Or when the funeral triggers memories of other recent funerals bringing up those losses too. How do you respond when the woman you love is sobbing in your arms and says please don’t die?

I knew this LDR was going to be hard but…

It helps a little to know that I’ll be there in a couple weeks. I already had the trip planned to ensure I could spend some time with her before my mom’s surgery has me stuck at home for two months. It’s almost as if fate knew I’d need to be there so soon after her visit here.

I’m never quite sure how much of that I believe. But I believe enough to ask for healing energy from the universe for this amazing woman in my life. I’d be grateful if my friends would send some too.

Be well my friends.

My wonderful friends, for whom I am dog-sitting, gave me a book journal as a thank you gift. And, also because I’m not on Goodreads, and they think that’s weird for such an avid reader. I keep meaning to sign up, I really do.

I think it’s a great gift but I’m a little intimidated by it and I’m not sure why. Maybe because I feel like I should go back to January 1st so I can see how many I’ve read this year. But I’ve read so many since then, will I be able to find them all?

What if in looking for them though I discover I haven’t read nearly as many as I thought? Would that make me a fraud? I already suffer from imposter syndrome regarding my writing, do I really want to open myself up to discovering that I’m an imposter with my reading too?

I totally see, intellectually, how completely ridiculous that is, but much of my identity is tied into being a book nerd. I know that because I spend so much of my time writing now there just isn’t as much time to read, especially when you throw in that I actually have a social life too.

But I see that book journal sitting on the table and it’s calling to me. Maybe since our plans to go to the mountains have been thwarted by the latest storm, I can spend the time finding the titles to all the books I’ve read so far this year.

Or maybe with the storm over and the sun being out, I’ll just find me a warm, sunny spot and read a book. That sounds much less stressful.

Be well my friends.

So what does one do on a snowy day after your obligations are fulfilled? Watch Tiny House Nation for hours on end of course. Did you know there was a whole channel dedicated to tiny house living?

Turns out Tennessee and I both like to watch these shows, and they sparked some interesting conversations. What are we each drawn to? How much space does one really need to live a comfortable life? Who puts a baby grand piano in a tiny house?

It seems that we’re both a little judgy when it comes to people who have ridiculous expectations about moving into a tiny house. During the house hunting shows, we almost always agreed on which house we liked best even if we didn’t always accurately predict what the buyers picked.

Since neither of us really cook, we’d be okay with a small kitchen. All it needs is a coffee pot, a toaster over, a two-burner stove top or hot plate, a microwave, a normal size fridge and a dishwasher. Oh, and one of those washer and dryer in one appliance would be cool. I had one when I was stationed in Germany and it’s perfect for a small space.

Other things we agreed on: all on one floor (no coffin-like lofts with access by ladder), at least one bedroom that can be completely closed off (we each need to be able to be alone in a space from time to time), and at least one and a half bathrooms neither of which has a composting toilet (gross!).

Also, something on the water would be amazing especially if it were for an absurdly low price and is move-in ready.

For those of you who might be starting to worry, no, there are no plans in the works for a U-Haul. It is way too early for that. But it was fun finding out we had similar tastes and some of the same hard no’s.

Be well my friends.

The best part about a snow day was that you got to stay home and goof off. However, when you work from home, you don’t get that benefit. Fortunately, I only had a half day scheduled.

I got a late start, and I thought about dropping one of my pre-written blog posts. Was still considering it, if I’m honest, up until just now because once work was done I was hearing the bed call to me saying wouldn’t a nap be lovely?

Tennessee is having a ball with the snow and is amazed that it was 61 degrees yesterday and 9 degrees today. Also, that what barely amounts to a dusting of snow for us would have shut everything down where she lives. Her friends seem to be oohing and aahing at the snow pics. It’s kind of funny how cool it is to see something we take for granted through the eyes of someone else.

I got to do that a bit last night with my friends too. Tennessee had a blast at trivia and loved meeting my friends. I want to say a big thank you to all of my friends for being so welcoming to her.

Too bad we came in second instead of winning. I blame Homer Simpson. If not for him we would have been tied for first place and it would have been the tiebreaker that determined the winner. Coming in second in that case is not as scandalous. Ok, I know I’m being dramatic, but I am competitive and would always rather win. Thankfully, we have so much fun that it really doesn’t matter when we don’t.

I’ll go ahead and thank the amazing wait staff at Bout Time too, for all their professionalism and patience with the crazy and loud lesbians that descend on them every Tuesday.

And a special thanks to my current crack dealer, host with the most, aka Aunt to Girl Scout Cookie Seller Extraordinaire. It’s hard to imagine there are many things more addictive than the Samoas. Yum!

Be well my friends.

I took a Benadryl last night and my brain is kind of mush this this morning. I am at the bottom of my first cup of coffee and the words are still fighting to surface.

So maybe just a quick update today.

You’ll be happy to know that Tennessee is feeling much better. A day of rest and lots of fluids as we binge watched some Netflix helped a lot.

Despite her not feeling very good at the start we managed to have a lovely day.  There may have been a bit of akimbo and askew too, but I not confirming or denying that. I even prepped a meal for her–if you are the type of person who calls a PB & J a meal.

Thank you to everyone who reached out with sympathy, encouragement, and advice. It was very much appreciated. For those of you going to trivia tonight, Tennessee is looking forward to meeting you.

Time to do my day job. Have a great day. Be well my friends.

Those of us who live here in beautiful Colorado sometimes forget about the effects of the altitude on our guests from lower altitudes. That its high and dry here is not really sufficient warning.

I’m afraid I did not adequately warn Tennessee. Though to be fair, nobody seems to believe any of us about how bad it can be. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way I guess.  

Let’s say for instance, you are someone who can normally go to a Mexican restaurant, have two margaritas with your meal and still be okay to drive home. When you are here just finishing one margarita will knock you on your ass and make you feel like you drank an entire pitcher.

You get back to your temporary abode, driven by the person who has had only club soda, and by 1 pm you are crawling into the bed and the room is spinning. For someone who hasn’t had the spins for decades, this can be an even more unpleasant experience than it normally is. You take a nap and at least you’re not drunk when you wake up but the hangover feels extra.

And it actually is. Alcohol dehydrates you anyway, but you do it here and it can feel like the Sahara has invaded your body. If you’ve reached this point only water will probably not be enough. Gatorade will become your newest friend. I wonder if Gatorade keeps statistics about which States have higher sales?

I’m afraid I have failed in my duties as hostess. I should have consulted my local friends as to the best way to tell your new girlfriend visiting for the first time, how she, as a grown ass adult, is supposed to listen to you that she shouldn’t drink alcohol and to have twice as much water as she normally drinks back home.

The fact that it didn’t even occur to me to say much more than drink lots of water, makes me feel terrible. Especially as she’s lying in bed in the room next door trying to recover as I write this. I’ll have to find a way to make it up to her. Let’s hope she doesn’t decide she’s never coming back. That would be truly tragic.

Dear Sputnik & Sprocket,

Thank you for being such good girls! You accepted me into the pack even before I got this privilege to watch you while your mamas are away.

After a bit of a hiccup our first night together, we settled into a routine and all were happy. Now though I’ve introduced a stranger and I know you’re not sure what to think.

I know you like the ear and butt scratches and that she gives out treats too. So that’s good right?

I’m sorry, Sprocket, that you felt anxious for a while, but I’m glad that us making room for you and loving on you was enough to make you calm again.

Sputnik, honey, I know you are not happy about the new sleeping arrangements. I am sorry. The bed is big enough for all three of us but you are going to have to accept that you don’t get to be in the middle.

I promise extra treats today. I know this is blatant bribery, but I figure you’ll be ok with that.

I do have a favor to ask though if you can manage it. Can we not be so insistent about breakfast time just because the sun is up? I know it’s my own fault for setting the precedent our first days together, but cut me some slack will ya? This is way too early to be up on my day off.

I know I was up early yesterday, and it was Saturday, but I had a lot to get done before Tennessee’s plane arrived and I was too excited to sleep any longer. Surely you can understand that was a one-time thing right?

So what do you say? Tomorrow not so early right? Cooperate and continue being your sweet and adorable selves and I promise not only extra treats, but more ear and butt scratches and even belly rubs if you are so inclined.

Love and snuggles,

Auntie

Today is finally here. Okay I know today is always here but this today is different. This today has taken more than six weeks to get here. Tennessee arrives this afternoon for a week-long visit. The time has flown by and also has taken forever.

In case this is the first blog you’ve ever read, I am in a long distance relationship, a fairly new one, that is now getting quite serious and is completely exclusive. Long distance is very difficult and requires patience and lots of communication in many forms. Neither of us is able or can afford to just hop on a plane on a whim and it’s a 20-hour drive. So these planned visits are very important.

This is Tennessee’s first visit here and I’m introducing her to my family tomorrow. Lunch with my son and his fiancé then dinner with my mom.  I’m not nervous at all, honest.

Then I’m taking her to Tuesday Trivia to meet my friends, not all of them, but as many as will be there. I can’t wait for everyone to meet her.

I plan on being quite selfish the rest of the time though and keeping her to myself. Fortunately, she is in complete agreement. There won’t be any sightseeing or other gatherings this visit. We both have to work at least part of the time, but other than loving on the dogs, this week is just for us.

That being said, I will be dropping some posts while she is here. I have a couple I’ve already written. Also, she is very supportive of my writing and has encouraged me to continue to post daily if I wish. I might just do that, but I also might not. If I miss a day or two or three, just know I’ll be back next Sunday with a SFW recap and will resume posting daily.

Thank you all for being so supportive. Be well my friends.