I knew today was going to be difficult. Tennessee is going home this afternoon. But instead of just being a little sad to say goodbye, she is grieving for a good friend who lost their spouse suddenly yesterday.
That is such a weird expression–they aren’t lost, they’re dead and it’s permanent and it really sucks.
I feel so helpless watching her feel so helpless. When she gets back, she will be able to help a bit by watching the dogs for her friend relieving her of one responsibility while navigating such a terrible loss. I hope that will help Tennessee not feel so helpless, but I hate that I can’t help in any way.
I’m going to be so far away. I won’t be there to hug her on the day of the funeral. Or when the funeral triggers memories of other recent funerals bringing up those losses too. How do you respond when the woman you love is sobbing in your arms and says please don’t die?
I knew this LDR was going to be hard but…
It helps a little to know that I’ll be there in a couple weeks. I already had the trip planned to ensure I could spend some time with her before my mom’s surgery has me stuck at home for two months. It’s almost as if fate knew I’d need to be there so soon after her visit here.
I’m never quite sure how much of that I believe. But I believe enough to ask for healing energy from the universe for this amazing woman in my life. I’d be grateful if my friends would send some too.
Be well my friends.