Resistance is Futile

One of the strangest things about writing is some days you can’t think of a single thing you want to say and other days you have so many things floating around in your head, but you can’t settle on just one thing. Today I’m experiencing the latter.

In a perfect world I would wake up every day knowing exactly what I’m going to write and the words just flow. I imagine there are writers who actually experience this though from what little I know interacting with other writers this is pretty rare.

So I’m just going to go with this chaos that is floating in my brain and hope you stick around for the ride.

I just finished reading “She’s Too Pretty to Burn” by Wendy Heard. It’s a YA sapphic suspense thriller and it took a very dark twist I probably should’ve seen coming but I didn’t. I enjoyed being surprised and if you like thrillers, you’ll enjoy this.

I started listening to a podcast yesterday called ”Graying Rainbows Coming out LGBT + Later in Life” by Dr. Ginger Campbell. She came out at 60 and had a hard time finding community just as I did and started the podcast in 2018 to try and help others in the same boat. That is partially why I started this blog too and wish I had found her podcast when I came out in 2019.

I’m looking forward to listening to the episodes. Maybe they will help me with the homework assignment I got from my therapist.

As I’ve recently mentioned I have complicated feelings about my father. My therapist wants me to imagine and write about what it might have looked like if my dad were still alive when I came out and he was fully accepting and supportive.  I have such a difficult time reconciling this fictional person with the man I knew, and I’ve been really resisting the assignment.

Years ago I read “The Artist’s way” by Julia Cameron, and the biggest thing I took from that is that the more you don’t want to write about something the closer you are to a breakthrough. I must be knocking at the door.

And honestly I think I am going to have a very difficult time writing anything constructive or meaningful until I do this. But I seriously don’t want to and I’m going to wallow in that resistance for a bit longer.

Self-care takes many forms. Take care of yourselves my friends.