The things I loved about my week with Tennessee include: the obnoxious rooster next door, her dog Buddy’s consistent attempts to insert himself between us, the quiet interrupted only by birds (and that damn rooster), how green it is here, falling asleep as little spoon, and waking up next to a loving body which was sometimes Buddy.        

The feel of promise and potential is very real. I could really write here. The sun on my back as I write each morning in the kitchen. A coffee cup warmer so no matter how long I’m immersed in the words, the coffee is still hot.

I got to meet a couple more of her friends this visit. The most adorable gay couple who were sweet and welcoming and had the most gorgeous, envy inducing house I’ve seen outside of HGTV. I got to know her roommate a bit better too and I’m grateful she’s there to help out Tennessee.

I also learned that Tennessee takes baths. Oh my Goddess is there anything sexier than a woman taking a bath?

I really could love it here. Except…

To get anywhere from her house you have to drive by a house that has a Confederate flag prominently displayed. Abortion is illegal from the point of conception. Drag queen performances are illegal on public property or in places where they could be watched by minors. The state senate just passed a bill to codify sex (meaning gender) to be unchangeable from what you were assigned at birth. Discrimination and conversion therapy are legal here.

How can such a beautiful place have so much ugliness?

It’s way more affordable to live here. Gas is at least a dollar cheaper per gallon, there is no state income tax either. But can you live with cheaper goods at the cost of your authenticity, peace of mind, possibly your freedom, or even your very soul?

I have no answers to that. And it is too soon to even be having such worries anyway right? Probably. Maybe. I have no idea.  Doesn’t really matter right now anyway because I’m back to my life in Colorado with work, my mother and her surgery, still needing to file our taxes, and preparing for camp Nanowrimo.

I’ll do what I frequently do and procrastinate it away for now. There’s time in the future for such worries right? It’s not like I’m well into the second half of my life or anything. Or that each time I have to say goodbye it’s getting harder instead of easier. Hmmm.

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