Queer Slang

I was on TikTok yesterday and a late in life lesbian (LiLLes) confessed that she finally got the meaning of tacos after 2 years and that her wife felt like she failed her. This made me laugh as I had no idea when I first came out either. There were and still are so many other words and phrases too.

A straight friend once asked if the U-Haul thing on the first date was really a thing. I told her most usually waited until the 2nd date. That was how the joke was told to me, but she didn’t get why and it’s very hard to explain the intensity of emotions of a WLW relationship to someone that has not had the experience.

The toaster oven joke was another one. This one means you’ve converted a straight woman and it’s most famously known from the coming out scene in the 90’s show “Ellen”.

I’m not talking about labels or terminology like demi-sexual of asexual or trans gender, etc. All important things to know, but there are lots of those lists around on the internet as they are geared more for outsiders. But the slang for those in the know (IYKYK) are harder to find and requires an insider to help you navigate.

So I decided to ask some of my fellow FB LiLLes what were some of the words and phrases they ran across. I got some very interesting responses.

There were many different terms like Stone Butch and Pillow Princess which are the opposite extremes of how one participates in the bedroom. Tops and Bottoms are a variation and goes with the term Switch, which is someone who is both.  

I learned two new ones. The first is “100-footer”, someone so obviously queer you can tell from 100 feet away. The second was “Do you listen to the Girl in Red?” which was less obvious and took some research. The Girl in Red is an indie singer from Norway who’s known for her single, “I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend,” which came out in 2018.

The question is used when a lesbian is trying to discreetly ask you if you are also a lesbian. One of my LiLLes said it best, “That way if you look at them crazy and have no idea what you are talking about it means no but the lesbian is not outing herself”.

Previous generations used to ask, “Have you read Rubyfruit Jungle?” or “Are you a friend of Dorothy’s?”. These are easy to find, so google them if you don’t know them.

I’m doing research on more of these words and phrases. Stay tuned.

Be well my friends.