The Revenge Diet

“Weight loss improves body satisfaction like a haircut improves a breakup.”

I saw this on my Instagram the other day and it really resonated with me. As someone who has been through several breakups in the past year, big and small, I do recognize that impulse to make external changes that I know won ‘t really help how I feel.

Getting a fresh new look can lift your spirits and give you a quick boost, but the grief, betrayal, or even plain disappointment doesn’t just go away because you cut your hair. It can, however, signal your brain and your heart that now is the time to start looking forward not back, to move on.

As a fat woman who has been learning how to accept that her worth is not tied to how big or little her body is, a breakup can trigger more than just a desire to get a new haircut.

It can put me back into a place of shame and insanity. If I lose weight and become skinny and gorgeous, the ex who let me go will want me back or at least regret letting me go. The revenge diet instead of the revenge haircut.

This is so toxic, and I hate how it still creeps into my thoughts. I am not less worthy because I take up more physical space than the patriarchy feels comfortable with.

And also would I really want to get back together with someone who wants me back because I am now thin or thinner? That’s a hard no.

Any changes to how I look or who I am must be for me, not someone else and not because I’m trying to fit into some arbitrary standard but because it is what’s best for me.

Don’t let someone else make you lose yourself. Be well my friends.

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