I’m working on a short story to submit for an anthology about healing, wholeness, and intimacy through kink for differently abled, queer, and trans folx. Like everything else I write the story idea came easy to me but trying to get it down in writing not so much.
I am a planner. Before starting on my novel, I spent two months working on an extensive plot outline, in-depth character biographies, and world building. So why I thought I could suddenly become a pantser (term for those who write without a plan or outline) is beyond me.
I started the story, got about 600 words into it (the max for submission is 2500) and realized it was not going to work. I think it’ll make a great story–very spicy and fun–but it won’t work for the anthology.
So it’s back to the drawing board and this time I actually need to use it. I have the two main characters names but not much else and I know generally what I want the scenes to reveal. So time to do some planning. No big deal right?
There are two issues standing in my way. First, I only have S days to get the story submitted. Normally that would be a tight deadline anyway but today after work I’m heading to some friends to dog-sit, and I’m not even packed yet. Also, Tennessee will be here on Saturday, and I still need to work 8 hour days for the next 3 days. This doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for planning let alone writing.
Despite all that, the time crunch is actually the easier of the two issues to overcome. The second issue, which may end up being insurmountable, is the fear.
I can’ t write a blog post or a story without putting myself into it. It’s easier to hide myself in the pages of a 70,000 word novel, but these short bursts each morning you get about me are sometimes very hard to write and let go into the ether.
As I began writing this short story, I realized how much of my own story I was putting into this work of fiction, and I felt so very vulnerable. I thought I was over feeling shame about who I am and what I need. Apparently I still have some work to do.
I am going to write this story because I now know it needs to be written. I’m just not sure I’ll have it done in time to meet the deadline, and I’m trying to be okay with that.
Wish me luck my friends.