I ran across a creator on TikTok, ameliadashrose, who does this whole rant about how we need to rebrand baby gay to feral fruit. It is hard to tell if she’s really serious or if her tongue is firmly in her cheek, but it is very funny and pretty on point.
I left a comment about my loving the phrase because of its accuracy but I didn’t want to have to change my username and blog name. She very kindly liked it and had no further response.
Here’s the thing though. She is not the only creator I’ve encountered that objects to this label while mindlessly scrolling through TikTok. There is one in particular whose post I wish I had pinned because now I can’t find it to give her credit. When I watched it, I thought she has a point but I kept scrolling.
Now, however, it’s rattling around in my head. She was very serious in her objection to the terms baby gay and late in life. She did not have an alternative like the creator mentioned above but was adamant in letting us know she was not a baby and that she wasn’t late. She was exactly where and when she was supposed to be.
I understand the objections to those labels or any label. I also agree that I’m not really late to the party. I had lessons to learn first, so I too was right on time. I wouldn’t be the person I am now or have the people in my life I have now if I had discovered who I am earlier.
My life is not perfect, but it is mine and I feel like I am exactly where and when I’m supposed to be. This also means I get to chose which labels I want.
So with all due respect to those ladies, I am fully embracing my Baby Gay and LILLES labels. They helped me find and define myself. Someday down the road they won’t fit any more and I’ll let them go, but for now, I am comfortable here.
Be well my friends.
Baby Gay When You're Fat and Gray 
Labels are to be chosen by the person who feels they fit. I feel like anyone saying “STOP CALLING YOURSELF A BABY!” Is gatekeeping. Plus, labels are meant to be changed as you learn more about yourself. I used the lake “lesbian” until I discovered “pansexual” but that doesn’t mean that I was wrong during my lesbian years. It was the label that fit me at the time.
We have the same discussions in the witch circles. Some love the term “Baby Witch” for themselves and others feel like it’s nails on a chalk board and infantile. I don’t care if they call themselves “Baby Witch”, “Beginner Witch” or “Princess of the damned” so long as whatever label they use feels good TO THEM.
It’s like “fat”. Some of us describe ourselves as fat, others as BBW, neither is correct nor wrong just what we are comfortable with.
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