I’ve been in therapy for a very long time. Every time I think “it’s going so well, I’m not a mess anymore, I don’t need to keep paying a therapist”, I bump into another ugly in the shadows.

I had an encounter with someone recently whose presence triggered a fight or flight response in my body, and I felt shame at that response. There was a lot to unpack and I’m not comfortable exposing the specifics, not because there’s still shame, but because it could cause harm to the person somewhere down the road.

I’m fairly certain I have already caused harm to this person because I am terrible at hiding or faking how I am feeling. I would make a terrible poker player. I have been told, however, that the inability to lie effectively is not a bad thing, so there is that.

Anyway, my current therapist, who I’m pretty sure is going to be able to send her kids to college because of me, reminded me of the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) she taught me awhile back. I wish I had remembered the technique when I had the encounter. I could have excused myself and gone to the bathroom to calm my fight or flight response, at least enough to figure out why it was happening.

Ah well, woulda, shoulda, coulda. We keep learning and try to do better each time right? I hope that the next time I meet up with the person, I’ll do better.

I am grateful that I’m in a position to be able to afford therapy. I know that so many cannot. It should be a basic right, but it is not. Here’s a link to a good article about how to find affordable mental health care.

Be well my friends.

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