I was thinking about the term lady friend versus girlfriend. Lady friend as I recently used it implies a mature relationship, but the relationship is actually still uncertain. Lady friend also feels a little like ‘special’ friend, which has it’s own issues.
When things get serious and more intimate, the label to changes to girlfriend. Girlfriend implies that we are reduced to teenagers and when you get to a certain age “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” does feel a bit juvenile.
However, “partner” implies commitment, like living together or being married and is way too serious to use when you’ve only known each other for weeks or a couple months. On the other hand, it does allow for the elimination of the binary of gender.
So what do you use? I suppose ultimately it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re both okay with how you define your relationship.
And truth be told when I’m in the girlfriend stage, I do in fact feel like I’m 15 again. Hormones out of control, lose my grip on being an adult and my responsibilities, my mind on sex constantly, always wanting to be with the person and neglecting other friendships.
It’s odd how I thought an LDR would change that somehow. In some ways it is different because I can’t actually be with her, but I think about her all the time, to distraction sometimes. For instance, I received a past due notice for one of my bills and I haven’t gone to an in person gathering in over a week.
Not going to gatherings with lots of people has been intentional though. With the uptick in both flu and covid, I am being cautious because I don’t want to get sick before my trip. (More on that in a later blog.)
I am still in contact with my friends via text and social media and I’ve been doing a lot of writer stuff (online sprints with my writing group, editing, etc.) so I’m not completely isolating. I learned that lesson. My girlfriend deserves a fully engaged and fulfilled me and so do I.
Be well my friends.
Baby Gay When You're Fat and Gray 