Have I Been Doing It Wrong?

“Before we go back and forth, who did you vote for? Where were you on January 6? Were you mad that the mermaid is black? Ok Cuz I don’t have time to waste.“

I saw this the other day on TikTok. Yes, I’m aware I spend way too much time on TikTok.

Then the 36 Questions that Lead to Love showed up on FB and not long after I saw a whole post about “If she’s serious why ask what my favorite color is?”

What is wrong with asking about their favorite color to start out with? I mean yeah I’m over 50 and life is short, and no, I don’t have time for games. But I’m not sure some things should be rushed.

I guess if you’re doing speed dating then that first one is good. But what about allowing for friendship. Granted I’m not likely going to be friends with someone who votes red or was mad about the mermaid, but still to be so abrupt feels rude.

If someone did that to me it would make me feel like they think their time is too valuable to waste on getting to know me. Maybe it is, but I don’t think I want to be friends with someone like that.

And what about that set of predetermined questions that will lead to intimacy and love? There are some great questions on that list, but that’s a lot of pressure right up front.

What is wrong with wanting to let the conversations be organic? I enjoy the wandering through questions like what’s their favorite book or song or if they prefer coffee or tea? Aren’t these things important too? I believe they absolutely are.

Sticking to a script limits you. It’s in the meandering where you find out how they relate to the world and how their minds work. It’s fascinating and necessary, at least for me.

Be well my friends.