Walls

“Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is. “ – Mark Groves

I have no idea who this person is, but this quote really spoke to me. For years I had walls around walls, around walls, with other walls I didn’t even realize were there.

The first of these walls went up when I was five years old. I didn’t stop building them until I was in my forties. Forty years of walls takes a lot of dismantling. Years and years of therapy I’ve been doing trying to break them down.

Some fell without much effort because merely acknowledging their presence was sufficient and they weren’t needed. Others have required chipping away brick by brick with so much effort and so many tears just to get an opening big enough to let light though.

Most of the more solid walls have doors now that those closest to me are allowed and know how to open. I wish we didn’t live in a world that required walls. I wish I could be that person where the door is always open or at least unlocked.

But we don’t and I’m not.

Most people who come near won’t even bother to look for the door and I’m okay with that. I’d like to think that whoever bothered to find the door and knock, that I would at least open the door to say hi. I admit I’m still wary though. Some I’ve let in recently have done quite a bit of damage in the short time they were inside.

If I let you in, please be kind. If I give you a key, know that I trust you immensely. Few people have the keys to any of my doors.

I’m still looking for the person who is brave enough, who is capable of helping me widen that opening in my final wall big enough to let them in. I am hopeful though.

I am grateful to all of you who are still knocking on my door or are lovingly and gently using their key.

Be well my friends.