Wouldn’t Change a Thing

What would you tell your 20-year-old self?

A friend of mine asked me this and I gave her the flippant response of ‘buy Apple and Microsoft stock’.

Hers was ‘you are enough and don’t settle’.

Both are actually pretty good answers, but it got me thinking. If I really could go back and change or influence my 20-year-old self, would I do it?

After only thinking about it for a minute or two I knew the answer would be no, not my 20 year old self. I was 28 when my son was born, and I would never do anything that would jeopardize him being him or in my life.

However, I might consider going back and telling my 30-year-old self “You’re gay. Queer as a 3-dollar bill”.

What would that revelation have changed for me? It might have erased a decade of a sexless marriage that ended with betrayal and devastation. It might have prevented my many medical issues. So many things might be different now. But would I really want that?

Maybe, but change anything along the way and it would alter who I am, and I like the woman I am now. I am not perfect nor am I done learning and growing yet, but I think I have turned out alright.

So, all that just to say that no, I would not go back and tell any of my younger selves to do anything different. I am who and where I am supposed to be.

Be well my friends.

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