I ran across a discussion in one of my FB groups the other day on what makes a woman instantly unattractive to you. There were more than 170 comments on the thread.
As I read through them, I was surprised to learn how very few women said anything about size or appearance and when they did it was usually about cleanliness.
This was encouraging to me and made me realize that my concerns about dating as a fat woman are more about my own internal issues than reality.
I think this thread and the way too many videos I’ve been watching on Lesbian Tik Tok finally made me realize that lesbians as a whole are way more accepting of all body types than I originally thought.
I honestly believed that I had just gotten lucky that the women I’ve dated so far had no issues with my size. But the more I learn about this community the more I understand how truly accepting and supportive they are.
This is very different than in the hetero-normative world where many women will be even harsher than men regarding beauty standards.. I am only guessing here but I think it has something to do with the rejection of the patriarchy.
The fact that it’s taken me this long to finally get that is a bit disheartening but better late than never right? I am pretty sure there will be more posts about this topic in the future as I obviously have more work to do on my own internalized fat phobia.
I’m still learning how I fit in this new-to-me, amazing community and I thank you for supporting me while I am.
Before I go I thought you might find it interesting that the majority of the comments to what makes a woman instantly unattractive was smoking. As this is one of my deal-breakers, I whole-heartedly agree.
Be well my friends.