Bombardment

Some mornings I look at the blank page and my mind is blank too. I have no idea what to write about. This morning I have so many different things floating through my mind, all of them demanding attention, that I still don’t know what to write about.

Do I tell you about my son who is finally in a good place in his life? Or about my nibbling whose marriage is falling apart and whose safety I am really worried about?

Do I tell you about all the preparations mom and I are doing for her surgery and how guilty I feel about how much I’m dreading it?

Do I share how excited I am about going to see Tennessee in four days and how these last ten days since I saw her last feel like months?

My last few posts have been very political so should I avoid that or tell you about the interview of Pink I watched where she says that people tell her to stay out of politics and she says she can’t because she has a vagina so she’s walking politics and how strongly that resonated with me?

Or maybe that I saw photos on Instagram of my friends out on a date and how incredibly happy I am for them?

Or that I have 654 days to retirement and how I’m worried about not being able to actually retire on that date because of the huge hit my TSP took last year due to the pandemic and residual economic effects of the prior administration’s idiocy?

I could have written about a daily prompt which asked what three objects can’t you live without and how my first thought was my coffee pot when it should’ve been my CPAP? And how much I hate being on a CPAP and all the other things that remind me I have not taken very good care of my body and that now the reckoning is happening?

Maybe I could talk about how editing Chapter 14 of my novel is proving to feel like a Herculean task? That I can’t seem to even want to start because well I don’t know why? Or that I can’t fix later chapters until I figure out how to fix this one? And also, when will be the right time to seek out beta readers and how exactly do I go about doing that?

I frequently experience this constant bombardment but usually I’m better at stilling my mind. I’m not really sure why I’m struggling today. Could just be because its Tuesday.

Oh it’s Tuesday! Trivia tonight with my friends. Excellent.