Breakups really suck, whether it’s a love relationship or a friendship. (For those of you not my girlfriend, don’t worry, this is not about her. We’re still doing good.)
I really value my friendships so when one comes to an end, it makes me sad. I know the adage says friends for a season, a reason, and a lifetime is a truth, but it really doesn’t make it any easier.
Does it make me a bad person that I prefer the breakups that happen slowly and quietly through neglect? Where you both realize your priorities and interests are different and you just put your energy into those things and the friendship just fades, no fuss no muss?
Sadly, not the case with this most recent breakup. I did try to quietly distance myself, but the other person didn’t cooperate. I realized too late that this person is toxic; another narcissist that wouldn’t let go of someone they’ve been able to manipulate.
How did I manage to go fifty years avoiding narcissists and then getting entangled with two in one year? I guess I was past due. I need to get better at recognizing them, though they are really good at hiding it.
The lesbian community is not that big, so avoiding this person is going to be even harder than the other because we still have mutual friends. I dread future encounters and hope that the interactions are civil.
I am much better at conflict then I used to be because my boundaries and needs are worth fighting for, but it still sucks. My wish for you and me is that all our friendships are healthy and those that aren’t quietly fade away.
Be well my friends.
Baby Gay When You're Fat and Gray 