In a FB group I belong to a woman asked how we would feel if our girlfriend wanted us to take a loyalty test. Most of the responses were variations on walk away or run. One of the women responded by asking, “what are we 12?” This one made me laugh, but the question got me thinking.
A loyalty test feels very Trumpian. He made his people swear their loyalty. I want nothing to do with anything he required thank you very much. It feels like a manipulative game. And at my age and stage of life, I don’t have time, or the energy for that matter, to play games.
Besides how exactly does one administer a loyalty test? What would that even look like?
I discussed this with my girlfriend, and we were on the same page. If you need me to take a loyalty test then one of two things is likely happening. Either you are projecting your bad behavior on me or there’s something I’m doing that is making you question whether I’m cheating. Either way we have a problem. A loyalty test wouldn’t fix the problem, all it does is expose that there is a problem with trust and communication in the relationship.
My ex-husband cheated on me and the devastation it wreaked on me, literally nearly killed me. I would never do that to another human being. Cheating is a deal breaker for me and as far as I’m concerned should be for every relationship.
This brings me back to what the majority of the women’s responses to the post were. Walk away from anyone wanting you to take a loyalty test. Either you have some work to do, or they do; in either case, you are not in a healthy relationship.
Take care my friends.