Author: Angel Beldam

Yesterday I met a 17-year-old when he brought my groceries out to me in the Walmart parking lot. I bought some wine in my order so presumably he’d need to check my ID, but he said “I don’t need to see your license because I believe you (said without irony or sarcasm) but can you give me your birthdate?”

When I gave it to him he was astonished and completely delighted. Turns out we have the same birthday and he had never met anyone with his birthday before. It was sweet and he said I made his day.

It made my day. I should’ve asked his name. I am not used to making connections like that. It just doesn’t happen in a big city, at least not for me, but that could be just a “me” problem. It is easy to stay anonymous in a big city.

Someone on FB in my new town asked if anyone could spare some laundry soap. I was stunned and then really sad. Then I found myself fighting to not be cynical and judgmental and that made me sadder.

I am a fish out of water here. When did I become so jaded and a snob?

I’m sure there’s a poem in all this but my brain is too tired right now. It’s been a really long week. I’m not complaining, honestly. I am so happy to be here. It’s Just going to be an adjustment.

Perhaps a bigger adjustment than I anticipated. No that’s not quite right… not bigger just different. I was thinking about all the things I will miss, like Uber, Greek food, and Starbucks, but the change is more about slowing down.

I was telling Tennessee that the lady from State Farm still hasn’t sent my electronic insurance cards and she told me to relax and give the lady a minute. It is going to take me a minute– to step down my pace and adjust my expectations.

I can hear the rooster as I write this and it’s as if he’s saying, ‘slow down’. Even the rooster is doing things in his own time, seeing as how the sun has been up for hours already.

Maybe I should just go back to bed. I’ve been going almost nonstop for weeks or at least it feels that way. Can I just relax today? Probably not. Tennessee called the living room my walk-in closet. She was joking, but it absolutely looks like that. It needs to go back to being a living room and that can’t happen if I relax.

Time to get a move on if I want to get things done.

Have a great weekend my friends.

I did not have time to post the blog this morning and won’t have time tomorrow morning either, so this will be my Thursday/Friday blog.

I have way too many changes of address to make and there’s been a lot of hiccups with some of them. It’s so hard to remember that the customer service person on the other end of the phone is not the person at fault. Something I’m reminded of when Tennessee relays the awfulness of some of her shifts.

I made my first Facebook marketplace purchase–a couple of floor lamps for my office–from a nice older couple who are downsizing. They lived in a posh neighborhood near a marina in a nearby town . She asked me how I liked my hybrid, and he asked me who the veteran was. (I have Honorably Discharged Veteran tags.) Turns out we’re both Air Force veterans though he served during Vietnam.

People are friendly here, but I don’t know how far that goes. I have to think before I answer friendly questions like “What brings you here?” I have to decide how much is safe to share.

I had an appointment for a pedicure, and I was nervous because that is a lot of time to be trapped in a chair and have to be careful about what I say. She is a friend of my future sister-in-law so that reduced some of the tension, as she presumably knows about my fiancé being a lesbian, but how much do I really share? It’s one thing with Tennessee introducing me so I can follow her lead, but I was worried about going it alone.

The pedicure was heavenly. She did ask all the questions and I answered them with a few of my own. Specifically, I asked how well she knew my future SIL and she said they’ve known each other a long time. Then I asked if she knew her sister and she said she knew of Tennessee though she didn’t really know her. Based on her answers and her tattoos and her vibe I told her why I moved here and how nervous I was about living in a small town in the south.

Unless she was lying to me, which of course is possible, she made me feel less worried and I’m very grateful. She even said that if I encounter any idiots that give me a hard time I’m supposed to call her, and she’d set them straight. That made me chuckle. She said most people in this area are ‘live & let live’ folx. I hope she’s right.

More progress was made today on the unpacking and settling in front. We’re almost ready for the two four-footed guests we’re taking care of for a bit and we’ll hopefully be ready for my BFF when she gets here next week. I’m not sure Tennessee will ever be fully ready for my BFF, but I can’t wait to see her. I miss her so much!

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I’ll be back on Saturday, hopefully with my own poem but if not then something heartfelt.

Take care, my friends.

My first workday went pretty smoothly once I got the Wi-Fi password. Did my first load of laundry and got more things unpacked. My to-do list is massive, but I knocked out a few things. I want so badly for this to already be done but it’s going to take time.

I find I am having difficulty prioritizing what needs to be done first because so much needs to be done. It starts to feel a little overwhelming, but then I look out the window to see the sun breaking through the fog in the trees and hear nothing but bird song and remember I can take all the time I want because the most important task is already done.

I was poking through FB ad saw a picture of my trivia friends. It made me smile but also I miss them so much! They came in third last night and Tennessee joked about how much they miss me. I don’t know about that, but I hope it’s true, at least a little.

Speaking of missing people, I am currently missing Bill, the man from Orkin.

I had to kill a big spider in the bathroom last night. I think I may have downplayed my fear of bugs to Tennessee. When I said to her there’s a spider in here, I expected her to come to my rescue, but she calmly says from under the covers “So kill it”.

I’m pricing Orkin today. Might be I’ll have to pay for two accounts but yikes.

I knew that heat and humidity and bugs were a thing here. I knew it, but for some reason, I didn’t know it, know it, you know what I mean? Don’t get me wrong I’m not leaving and I’m happy I am here but ugh, bugs.

Also, apparently, spiders and ants do not classify as bugs to my beautiful fiancé. I suppose technically she may be right but if it’s a creepy crawly it’s a bug as far as I am concerned.

Speaking of concern, did I mention there’s a Chucky Doll in the front closet? It belongs to the future sister-in-law. I have told her he will be re-homed to the detached garage unless she comes and gets him. An idle threat because I am not opening that door ever again as long as he’s in there. No, just no.

I wonder what awaits me today. Stay tuned my friends.

My first full day as a new resident of Tennessee was mostly a good day, though not what most people would consider exciting. We built a desk, or rather reassembled one, without the proper tools or any instructions. It was grueling and were both going to be sore for a bit, but totally worth it and I’m excited to be writing this blog from it right now.

We also got other less exciting errands done like restocking the fridge and the pantry. I’ll be keeping the Amazon driver busy for a while as I keep hitting “place order” and then discovering something new I need or want.

One thing that happened yesterday is not sitting well with me. My attempt to schedule a pedicure did not go as planned. I found a place here in town through Facebook and scheduled it through their online app. It was accepted but then a couple of hours later it was canceled.

 That has happened to me before, but shortly after the cancellation, I was contacted by the business to reschedule. That did not happen, and I keep wondering if that is because they looked me up on Facebook and didn’t like what they saw.

Perhaps I’m just being paranoid, but it feels ick, so now I’ll have to find a salon in another town.

I hate the idea of having to drive all the way to Chattanooga to get a pedicure, but I’ll just make a whole day of it if I have to…visit an attraction, have lunch or cocktails, go thrifting, or to the bookstore.

Best not to dwell on that for now. I have way too much to do to worry about something I don’t have control over anyway. So on to happier things-like introducing you all to my new cat:

This is Silas. He’s my new office mate and I couldn’t be more thrilled. He is so sweet, though I am not so sure how impressed he is with me. He does seem to appreciate ear rubs. I look forward to us getting to know each other better.

Time to get started on my first workday from my new office. Be well my friends.

OMG, I’m exhausted y’all! Six states in two days and we’re not talking about those itty-bitty East Coast states either. That drive through eastern Colorado and Kansas is brutal. We saw a mud run, a couple of crop dusters, and not much more except corn, windmills, and trucks…lots and lots of those.

By the time we arrived in Kansas City, we were more than ready to order room service and then sleep like the dead until morning. One small snag…apparently, I did not in fact make the hotel reservation and there were a whole bunch of teenage boys and their families there for a tournament of some sort.

Fortunately, they had a room but the dude at the front desk made his feelings known about our status as “walk-ins”. Who knew downtown Kansas City was so posh?

Nice view from the hotel room and the food was yummy and filling though the prices were also pretty posh.

So Sunday morning as we’re heading out into the wilds of Missouri I discover another item that didn’t get done–never even made it to the to-do list. I forgot to let my Credit Union know that I would be using my Mastercard out of state. The automated fraud detection service called me as I’m on the on-ramp to I-70 asking to verify it was me using the card for gas purchases. Oops. How did I miss that checklist item?

Anyhoo, the drive east got less flat and greener with even a few hills thrown in, and the distance between exits was much shorter. Sadly the distance between the anti-abortion and pro-God billboards also got shorter too.

Driving over the mighty Mississippi River and seeing the Arch was pretty cool. I’d done it before, but Tennessee had not and I’m smiling now remembering her delight. She likes unique bridges. I didn’t know that before and that is one of the reasons why road trips are so cool.

We had planned to listen to Brandi Carlisle’s autobiography on the trip, but we never got around to it. We either talked or listened to the sounds of the road most of the way. The silences were never awkward, and I love that so much!

We even had a disagreement about a matter of opinion where she gently knocked me off my high horse and I conceded her point was valid too. Who is this person I’ve become? I kind of like her.

But I digress. Somewhere in Illinois, we found a much-needed oasis at a rest stop by Rend Reservoir. It was beautiful and restful.

It provided the necessary downtime to get re-energized for those final long hours.

We got in just after sunset and had a happy reunion with the pups. We only brought into the house those things we’d brought up to the hotel room the night before, so we have quite a bit to unload this morning. Fortunately, neither of us has to work today so we have time.

My rooster buddy was on a roll this morning but has decided his work is done–so only cheerful chirping is my soundtrack now. This place is so beautiful, so green, so quiet.

I’m so happy to be home.

This is my last day in Colorado. For a while anyway–it’s not as if I won’t be back for visits.

I feel as if I should be frazzled or panicked because I’m not finished packing, but this feels destined and meant to be so I know it will get done. I don’t have much left to do though my list still looks suspiciously long.

I woke up later than usual because I was out late last night at my going away party. It was perfect. Laughter, love, loud conversations, and really good food. There were no tears at least not from me, and I’m grateful that no one got mushy or maudlin.

I chose to sit at the back of the room where I could see everyone. Several times throughout the evening I found myself just watching these amazing humans… absorbing their goodness… setting the memory in my heart.

It was a great night, and I am going to miss them all so much! It is my most fervent wish that I’ll be able to stay close to each of them and with all the other amazing women here I call friends.

I have several friends that live far away but who I still feel connected to. We don’t talk every day or even every week…sometimes months go by…but then we chat and it’s like no time has passed at all. I know that at least some from this group will fall away and this makes me sad, but I will do my best to make sure to keep up my end.

There won’t be any blogs while I’m in travel mode, but I’ll be sure to tell you all about the road trip as soon as I’m and running again.

Be well my friends.

Today is my last full day without the love of my life and the universe decided to kick it off with fireworks.

Thunder and lightning are not the usual way to start a day around here. Our thunderstorms usually happen in the afternoon, so I figured this was just for me because you know this is a me-centered universe right?

The irony of that phrase just dawned on me.

The first time I heard that phrase was in my Air Force days. While I was stationed in Italy I became really good friends with the wife of one of my fellow airmen. She used to say it all the time “You know this IS a Nancy-centered universe:” Not a question but a statement.

And now it really is, and I couldn’t be happier!

Tonight is my going away shindig. I’m excited to see most of my friends all in one place at the same time. I have no doubt there will be tears (at least mine) but there will be so much laughter and love too.

There will also be great food. One of my friends is a grill master and he’s been marinating his meat in some Tennessee whiskey. (IYKYK)

I have a busy day ahead of me and there is so much still left to do. I need to get started on the work portion of it, so I have time for the rest.

Have a fabulous day my friends!

I got a late start today. Slept terrible and had a headache so I called in sick and went back to sleep. Now I’m up and feeling better rested but I still have a headache… probably that’s lack of caffeine now.

Last night was my last time at trivia and we had a great time like always. All three teams competing were from our group as no one else was there to play, so that was fun. There was laughter at inside jokes, inappropriate and irreverent conversations, and snuggles with Kevin, the Squishmallow.

I only teared up a couple of times and since no one said anything I think I kept the others from seeing it. That is going to be a lot harder to do on Thursday at my going away party. I’d better bring some tissues with me.

I’m going to miss these amazing humans so much. They helped me heal from the breakup from my first long-term lesbian relationship. They helped me navigate dating again, sometimes literally holding my hand when I thought I’d never find love. They were there when the love of my life proposed to me. And they have allowed me to be part of their momentous occasions too.

I have experienced the physical separation from friends who have stayed close for years despite the distance, so I don’t doubt that will be the case with at least some from this group. I believe this because some are already planning trips to Tennessee. I hope the yahoos in the State House don’t get worse and make it too scary for them to come visit.

Just as a reminder to those who are reading this and are considering a visit, the first room being fully fixed up will be the guest room because my BFF will be there in a couple of weeks. I can’t wait for her and Tennessee to meet!

Also, I’ll be two hours from Nashville and less than three from Atlanta so if that’s your destination we can meet you there or somewhere in between. And I’ll be back for visits with my mom, so I’ll try and pop in to see y’all when I’m back in town.

I’d better try to get a few hours of work in. Be well, my friends.

Today is going to be a hard day for the woman I love, and I am here, not there.

I didn’t get permission to write about this beforehand, so I won’t give specifics. She has told me that she trusts me, but this feels too close to put out into the universe without her permission.

Instead, I’ll make this about me…how helpless I feel being so far away knowing that she’s hurting…how guilty I feel about not planning this move around this day…how ick I feel making this about me.

I often wonder if I’m a narcissist. Writing this blog puts the focus on me most of the time and really feels so self-indulgent, especially today.

So maybe I won’t indulge anymore today. How about I just keep this short and say:

Tennessee, I wish you a day of healing and peace. I love you.

We’re in the home stretch now. Less than 120 hours until we’re on the road!

This was a very busy weekend. Sorting, purging, packing. So many decisions, that for a bit I got stuck. I was having decision fatigue and I was on the verge of a total meltdown. Fortunately, Tennessee talked me off the ledge and then I got extra help, so I was able to push through.

My mental health has taken a real beating these last couple of weeks. I’m convinced that if there wasn’t a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow I’m not sure I’d have survived the storm. Not only did I survive, but I now feel invigorated and ready for this new adventure.

I can’t help thinking that some of you may be sick of reading about this and on some level I feel maybe I should apologize. I’m not going to though. I shouldn’t have to apologize for my life and my truth, right?

I realize this has completely consumed my life. It’s all I’ve been talking about, so if you feel you’ve had your quota, I’ll understand if you choose not to hang out for a bit.

I do have other things on my radar that do take up space in my head: Labor unions on strike, MTG has a new rap video, the Marine Corps is pissed at Tuberville, fascism, global warming, AI, etc.

Those are all important things, some for more dubious reasons than others, but they do not have the immediate impact on my life that this move does.

So this week’s blogs will likely all be about the goodbyes from my final trivia night and the going away party I believe some of my friends are planning and the last-minute frenzy to finish packing up and of course the emotional roller coaster that will accompany all this.

Deep breath as I enter this last handful of hours before the biggest and best new adventure. I hope you’ll be along for the ride.

Be well, my friends.