Independence Day

Independence Day came and went with a lot of noise. Fireworks are apparently legal and cheap here since my neighbors have been shooting them off for days. Last year, I actively participated in our small town’s biggest event, the 4^th of July parade. I was a newlywed, and we were happy and hopeful about the future.

Not so this year. Not that we aren’t happy and hopeful as a couple-we are. But the world we live in is so much darker than it was last year. It’s a constant battle not to give in to the despair and fear.

The cognitive dissonance and casual cruelty displayed on social media from some of my neighbors is so disheartening. The glee they express when re-posting memes about alligators eating Latinos makes my blood run both hot and cold.

Here’s the thing, though, it also deeply upsets me how callous “our” side has been. I’m an avid believer in FAFO, cause and effect, etc. But telling the parents of those little girls who have died in the Texas flooding that this is what they voted for is beyond cruel. It’s no different than those who tell undocumented parents whose families are being ripped apart that they shouldn’t have come here for a better life.

We’ve become just like them, and it makes me sad and angry. We can push back when officials blame NOAA with reminders of who dismantled and unfunded NOAA without telling all those mothers that their vote killed their daughters.

Yes, it was a church camp in deep red Texas, but that doesn’t mean she voted red. We can’t know if that mother had to have a life-saving procedure after a miscarriage, or that she knew that it could happen to her or someone she loved, and so she voted blue. We can’t know any of that. All we know is that children are dead and their families are grieving.

My heart aches for those mothers and for what our country has become. It’s almost enough to make me withdraw completely, to stay in my little bubble with my beautiful wife and ignore the outside world, hoping it never intrudes before we die.

I watched the movie, Independence Day, last night and cried during the scene when the President is giving the speech below:

“Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

How can I just pretend that what’s happening out in there world won’t affect us? As a non-Christian queer woman of color (yes I know I’m passing) I feel like I’m having to fight for my right to exist, to not be annihilated. This terrible legislation that just passed is going to have a lot of people finding out, and the rest of us are going to suffer with them just like we have been with the other crap that has been happening these last six months.

I can’t pretend it’s not happening. If there is even the slightest chance that I can make a difference, I have to try. Try to hold folks accountable without demeaning them. Have compassion for them when they FA’d, and the FO is devastating. Forgive and embrace them when they see the light. Easier said than done when you’re angry and scared, but necessary if we are to survive, let alone heal as a nation.

Be kind and take care of yourselves, my friends.