Hodge Podge

It’s only been a couple of days since I retired, but I’m struggling with my Protestant, capitalistic upbringing, which says I should be busy because I have an enormous to-do list. This large list, accompanied by the shoulda/woulda/coulda mentality, is causing a paradoxical, unproductive, and uncreative paralysis.

So today you’ll be getting a bit of a hodge-podge of content.

I finished my new friend Charlie Geoffrey’s debut novel, Boss Undercover, and here’s the review I left her on Amazon:

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Boss Undercover was a delightful, well-written respite.

The author describes her books as sappy Sapphic romances, but I didn’t find anything in this book cloying or overly sentimental. The main characters had depth with realistic histories and failings we could all easily recognize in ourselves and loved ones.  And I am more than a little in love with Ben.

Spending time with Ashley and Chloe as they fell in love whilst overcoming the inevitable obstacles was a splendid escape and I highly recommend.

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This is Silas, who seems to like me lounging on the couch in the middle of the day. Well, he did until he didn’t. Cats!

I have been very active on FB. I’ve already had an interaction with a Ken who tried to belittle me…nah, not having that. I also received many supportive and uplifting responses to the below post:

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I just finished my last day of work today. As you might imagine, I have mixed emotions.

I am angry. I loved my job and would not be leaving if it weren’t for the chaos and nonsense happening in our nation’s capital.

I feel pride. I have been a public servant for over 30 years, and I have given my very best.

I am sad. I said goodbye to so many people and wished them well as they navigate the insanity still to come.

I am relieved. I have already been through three RIFs, and I am so glad that I won’t have to go through another one.

I feel guilty. This one is probably irrational, but I’m feeling it anyway. I worked hard to be in a position where I can walk away with my pension, benefits, and TSP, but I still feel like I’m abandoning them.

I’m excited. I get to spend time with my wife in the garden, read when I want, finish my novel (and maybe a few more), or just be lazy.

I am scared. Fear has always been my bully, and while years of therapy have blunted its power, just being me puts me in danger from the bigots and misogynists that have been emboldened. Also, today’s tanking stock market is making me worry I’ll be eating ramen when I’m 80 years old.

Despite everything, though, mostly I am grateful…for my beautiful wife, for my amazing family (both birth and found), and for my supportive and delightfully weird friends.

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Also on FB, this ridiculous but sadly applicable meme:

There needs to be an additional response emoji on FB: the eyeroll.

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The two eaglets we’ve been watching on YouTube, Sunny and Gizmo, are in their awkward adolescent phase. Their feathers are starting to grow in, and their feet are huge!

Best I can do on this rainy day. Hopefully, this creative paralysis breaks soon.

Take care of yourselves my friends.