I Survived November

Y ‘all. Thank the gods November is over. It has been a crazy month culminating in an amazing Thanksgiving meal with my new family and friends.

We had Lil J-Dawg in the days preceding the big day and that was surely a test. I’d forgotten how much energy a three-year-old takes and the absence of a usually available learning tablet made it harder.  Tennessee was thrilled we had him and he really is so sweet.

Assuming his parents, who missed him terribly, let him come back, we’ll be better prepared. Also, we’ll hopefully get him when he’s not coughing or has a runny nose which he kindly shared with everyone. We’re still recovering from this bug. However, that’s probably impossible because kids at this age are always sick it seems. I had not forgotten that.

I will definitely make sure that we have that tablet next time though.

I also finally made it in to see my new primary care physician. She’s actually a nurse practitioner and I like her a lot. She listened to me and my issues and concerns, asked reasonable questions, and didn’t make any assumptions. They did blood work, and I got the results back yesterday.

I’m thrilled that my a1c, cholesterol, and all that are still normal. Something I suspected though proved to be true and I feel vindicated. I thought my hormones were out of whack and it turns out my estrogen is very high. High estrogen leads to weight gain and low moods, both of which I’ve experienced at significant levels since arriving here.

I’ve been fat since my pregnancy 27 years ago and my struggles with PCOS have made dieting and weight issues a totally traumatic nightmare for years but these past few months I knew something was different, wrong.

I haven’t been on the hormone replacement pills for long since my old doctor just took me off birth control pills not that long ago. Nothing felt the same once I switched to the HRT though. He was ready to retire and probably should have sooner than he did. I should have asked for a different doctor sooner.

Anyway, I now have a referral to a GYN specialist who will tweak my hormones and in the meantime, we’ve upped my anti-depressant to help level out the lows. Since I’ve been on the old dosage for a while it wasn’t working as effectively anymore, especially with the new biological changes.

I’ve done a lot of research, and I knew menopause was going to be tricky with PCOS. An added complication is that my blood pressure seems to be running high. I suspect that’s a result of the weight gain and the pain of the achy muscles and joints. I don’t want to be on BP meds so at the recommendation of my new Doc and my therapist I’m footing the bill for a coaching program for nutrition and exercise.

My initial reaction was no, no, no, I’m never doing a diet again. The Doc assured me it’s not a diet, but we’ll see. She says they’ll focus on my goals and my therapist and I agreed that should be to feel better, to be able to move more freely and without so much pain.

They will, in theory, help me get more active–guiding me to activities that will work for where I’m at right now. They will help me and Tennessee with meal planning that will work with our weird schedule.

I admit I’m skeptical and reluctant, but I know I need to move more and I don’t like how I feel and I’m not sure the hormone adjustment will be enough. So I’m apologizing in advance for all the bellyaching I may do every time I feel triggered by diet culture trauma.

I really have wanted to write more but I’ve just felt so awful lately that it’s been all I can do to get the minimum done around here, like help care for the five fur babies that are here. They don’t care that I feel achy or tired, they want food and water and ear scratches. I don’t blame them one bit.

Hopefully, I’ll get to feeling better soon because there’s lots more to tell.

Take care my friends.