Happy 97th Abuela

Yesterday was my Grandmother Merlinda’s 97th birthday. We call her Abuelita. This is a picture taken of her by my Tia Nilda.

I don’t know her well as she lives in Chile. She does not speak English and I don’t speak enough Spanish for getting to know you types of talks. I’ve been to Chile three times with my mother to visit, but 10 days or 2 weeks is not enough time to get to know someone, especially if you can’t talk to them.

The last time we were there was to celebrate my mother’s 70th and my grandmother’s 90th birthdays. Abuelita asked us when we were coming back and since neither my mother nor I really wanted to go back there we half-jokingly said we would be back for her 100th birthday.

If we are going to go back to Chile, which is now starting to look like it might could happen, I’m going to have to start saving my money for airfare. Flights to Antofagasta, Chile, where my abuela, tias, and primas live, are very expensive.

I have primos and tios there too of course but I don’t like most of them. They are either anti-American and let me know it or are too arrogant bordering on machismo. The only adult male cousins I like are my prima Rosanna’s two sons. One is a young musician and the other is a world traveler who spent COVID in New Zealand and is currently working in Canada.

I really don’t want to go back though. The last time I was there I was still straight. Okay, I knew by then I wasn’t straight, but I wasn’t out yet either.

I’m trying to imagine taking Tennessee and introducing her as my wife and I just can’t. I would never put her through that. It’s hard enough meeting the in-laws without throwing in language and cultural barriers.

The fact that homosexuality was only recently decriminalized there, that my mother’s youngest sister is the only one who knows I’m a lesbian, and that Tennessee has no desire to travel overseas makes the decision to not invite her pretty easy.

If mom and I go, I will invite her, as that’s respectful and I’m not stupid, but I won’t be surprised or upset when she says hell no.